Awakening

'Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks within, awakens.' - Carl Jung

I read this and loved it - for what it made me envision. I certainly am not living it. But if I look inside, what does that mean? what does that look like?

It made me think today of the Facebook Notes titled I Have Come To Realize. It was a Notes I filled out a couple months ago. But I can see the linkage to today. Very easily. So some of my next posts will be filling out those realization posts - what did I learn? Or hope I had? Or wished I had but admittedly, never did? What have you learned?

If I look back at my "Notes" on realizations, No. 9 stands out the most:
9. I've come to realize that certain people....come into your life for moments, weeks or years, and they all have an important role to play - if we let them. And then others, well, we just wish they'd go away ...

I truly do believe everyone is in our lives for a reason. Yet it could be decades - or never - before we realize the reasons why. I like this honestly. It makes me think that the two years I loved those boys - more than any children I've ever loved - would not be in vain. Would have purpose. Honestly, though, it may not have been for any reason. At least not on my end. But would it have made them feel more secure, more loved? I can only hope.

At the same time, it could have been for an amazing reason. I still recall in junior high my teacher - Mr Spears - asking if my homework was done. He knew it wasn't. I knew it wasn't. I knew I was at that very moment copying it from a girfriend, and I knew he knew ... so I said "no, I didn't do my homework."

It was a critical moment - what is more important - what is right, or what is easy?

Honestly, most of my troubles have been because I pushed for what was right, not what was easy.

Life isn't easy. We often make it harder than it needs to be.

But, if on a moment by moment basis, we can ask - what is the greater good? what is the purpose? Then we will always have something bigger - some meaning - we can align with.

I love those moments. When it feels everything else is hard. Yet those hard moments, are easy.

So, to those women - yes, typically women - who were there at that time yet don't realize -- Heather, for being the first friend I had who truly fell in love for life; to Sarah, who was tougher than any I knew while being so compassionate; to Shelley, whose was so loving and strived so hard to stay in touch; and to Jenn, who is more a part of me than anyone; my Tri-Cities triumphant friends; and my Highland girlfriends who kept me sane enough to survive the hardest, most Fucked-up times of my life so that life could only get better.

As I look within my heart,I pray I only meet more women like these who propel to even greater depths of understanding.

Despite all the serious talk. these are amazing women. Thank God have known and have benefited from knowing them.